a bag for every occasion...

this is an ostomy blog masquerading as a fashion blog. as such, i may occasionally include descriptions of clothing as well the wacky madcap adventures of me and my colostomy bag. if fashion doesn't interest you, feel free to skim on by. i promise i will never bore you to tears, or cause your eyes to glaze over.

that said, i will often point out the benefits of having a colostomy bag. yes, there are some benefits. for instance, normal beings may fart in social situations when it may not be appropriate. i, on the other hand, have my noxious gasses neatly contained in a secure pouch to be used at my discretion.

just the other day, i had occasion to put this superpower to good use. a jerk passed me too close on the highway. i knew we would be side by side at the traffic light. so 1/2 block before the light, i checked to be sure his windows were down. yeah, mr. redneck has his windows down. so i reach below my waistband and loosen the top ofthe flange a bit. my car fills with gas just as i reach the light. he is in the lane beside me. i roll down my passenger window so the gas is sucked out of my car and flows into his truck. i smile at him and take off at the light. when i look back,he is coughing and still sitting at the light!

i don't really miss my asshole, as i am surrounded by them on a daily/hourly basis.

see ya soon!