please allow me to introduce myself....

how rude of me, to chatter on, when we haven't been properly introduced.

my name is lee. i am a 44 year-old female who lives in mississippi. i have a husband named bobo, a 25 year-old son named root, a jack russell terrier dog named jack (duh!) and a colostomy. we live in a single family set on 2 acres with a small pond. the pond has been stocked with many delicious fish, so next year i will have to learn to eat fish every night.

i enjoy reading, gardening, internet surfing and watching television. my favorite programs are the office, law and order: svu (special victims unit), my name is earl, jon & kate + 8 ( i am on team jon!), and all manner of cooking and home decorating shows. i also love true murder mysteries, the bloodier and more convoluted the better.

my son, root, is engaged to a wonderful woman i will call chick. she has a 6 year-old girl (itchy) and a 5 year-old boy (scratchy) that i love very much. my son and chick are getting married october 9, in downtown memphis. i am having fun helping them plan their wedding. someday i will give details of my $100 wedding package used when i got married in 1982. it deserves its own post.

so that is me. tell me about YOU! leave me a comment! PLEASE!

ciao for now!

an exquisite bean, with a fine full-bodied roast

if you are ever out and about in america and find yourself in a dire spot, you may need to find a nice bathroom, with lots of room and privacy.

simple solution: head for the nearest starbucks.

the bathrooms are built for single occupancy, so you have your own sink at your disposal. not only are the bathrooms clean and impeccable, the smell of coffee roasting will hide any odors!

i love starbucks, even though i don't drink coffee!

a bag for every occasion...

this is an ostomy blog masquerading as a fashion blog. as such, i may occasionally include descriptions of clothing as well the wacky madcap adventures of me and my colostomy bag. if fashion doesn't interest you, feel free to skim on by. i promise i will never bore you to tears, or cause your eyes to glaze over.

that said, i will often point out the benefits of having a colostomy bag. yes, there are some benefits. for instance, normal beings may fart in social situations when it may not be appropriate. i, on the other hand, have my noxious gasses neatly contained in a secure pouch to be used at my discretion.

just the other day, i had occasion to put this superpower to good use. a jerk passed me too close on the highway. i knew we would be side by side at the traffic light. so 1/2 block before the light, i checked to be sure his windows were down. yeah, mr. redneck has his windows down. so i reach below my waistband and loosen the top ofthe flange a bit. my car fills with gas just as i reach the light. he is in the lane beside me. i roll down my passenger window so the gas is sucked out of my car and flows into his truck. i smile at him and take off at the light. when i look back,he is coughing and still sitting at the light!

i don't really miss my asshole, as i am surrounded by them on a daily/hourly basis.

see ya soon!